Signs of Divorce: Are You Unknowingly Hurting Your Marriage?

 Posted on November 27, 2015 in Divorce

Most people take their marriage vows extremely seriously. When two people say "I do," they likely truly mean it, and intend on staying together for the rest of their lives. As we all know, however, that is not a realistic outcome for every marriage. Relationships turn sour, people change, and many couples find themselves having to choose between their happiness and their marriage.

Most people, however, do not simply decide on getting divorced one day out of the blue. It is usually a culmination of many issues that all build up to an unbearable point where divorce seems like the only option. Obviously, cheating and lying are two surefire signs your marriage is in crisis, but did you know that you and your partner may be undermining your marriage without even knowing it? Here are a few ways you may be weakening your marriage unknowingly.

Emotional Dishonesty

Having to hide your feelings from your spouse is indicative of a problem. You and your spouse should be honest with each other about everything, and feelings are no exception. Emotional dishonesty can start small, like telling your partner you are happy when in reality you are not. In time, though, the small lies build up and create distrust between the two of you. Your marriage can only be successful if both you and your spouse feel comfortable expressing your feelings and handling them together. Simply disclosing your feelings will bring you two closer together and strengthen your relationship.

If you feel like you and your spouse are being emotionally dishonest, consider outside help if necessary. Speaking to a therapist or couples counselor can help you and your partner express your feelings in a health, positive, and productive manner.

Being Selfish

Being selfish on occasion is normal. Constant selfishness, however, is definitely a problem. Acting selfish all the time could tell your partner that you might be better off on your own. If you are constantly calling the shots for both you and your partner, you may unknowingly be invalidating their own opinions.

Hiding Money

Most couples argue frequently about money. A poll conducted in 2014 surveyed thousands of married couples, asking them what they argue about most. Seventy percent of couples reported arguing primarily over money. Money is a tough subject for even the happiest of couples, and it can play a role in undermining your marriage. If either you or your spouse are hiding money, or unable to admit to a spending problem, disclose the problem to one another and seek help. Gambling problems and shopping addictions can require the help of therapists, and you may consider speaking to your accountant as well, if any permanent damage has been done.

Relying on Outside Relationships

Healthy couples should spend time with friends and other family members. Problems arise, however, when you start relying on those friends to fulfill emotional needs your partner should be fulfilling. Give your partner a chance to fulfill those needs first, and if they are still not being met, you may have a larger problem on your hands.

Of course, if your or your spouse notice any of these problems, action can be taken to reverse any damage. The best solution is always being honest with your partner. Seek the help of a therapist or counselor if necessary.

Choosing divorce is difficult. A qualified Wheaton divorce attorney can review your options with you today. Contact the offices of Stock, Carlson & Asso. LLC at 630-665-2500.