Divorce Signs: Knowing When Ending Your Marriage Is Right for You

 Posted on August 14, 2015 in Divorce

Deciding to get a divorce is no easy decision. While staying in an unhappy marriage certainly is not ideal, most people face difficulty when determining if a divorce is the next best step, and fear future unknown outcomes. While there is no right or wrong answer to guide your decision, and no best or worst time to get a divorce, examining your personal relationship with your spouse and thinking introspectively about your life can help point you in the right direction. Below are a few key signs that indicate that getting a divorce may be the necessary next step.

First, consider the reasons you have for staying in your marriage. Do you truly believe your marriage can be saved and that you could be happy in your relationship? Are you staying based on fear of the unknown future you face after separation? If you have children, are you staying in your marriage simply so your kids grow up with two parents? Are you worried about the backlash you could face from friends and family after revealing your divorce?

If any of these reasons are driving you to consider remaining married, now is the time to try anything you can to salvage your marriage. You may not get any other chances after initiating a divorce, so exhaust every option for saving your relationship first. Consider marriage counseling or seeing a therapist. Talk with your spouse about your issues. If both of you can acknowledge your problems and work towards rebuilding your relationship chances are much higher that you could remain married.

For some, the reasons to get divorced far outweigh the reasons to remain in a relationship. Staying in a relationship based out of fear (fear of the unknown, financial fear, fear of raising children alone) typically tends not to work out. Do you see more fear based reasons than positive reasons to stay in your marriage? For a moment, be selfish, and consider if your marriage is truly working for you. Are your needs being met? Do you see yourself being happy in your relationship?

Any relationship only works if it is working for both partners. Women especially tend to treat their needs as less important than their husband's or children's, but this should not be necessary in truly successful marriages. Relationships take work from both partners, and if the effort is not there, divorce may be the next best option.

If you are only staying in your marriage for your children, consider the consequences of raising them in an environment where there is tension or animosity between you and your spouse. Children are insightful and learn by example. Do you want your children to grow up thinking a marriage should be unhealthy and cause unhappiness? Most parents would agree that an unhappy marriage is not the picture of love they want to impress on their children. If you agree, perhaps divorce is the best option.

Finally, consider your personal relationship with your spouse. Do you still love them, trust them, and respect them? If not, it may be time to move on. A relationship requires that both partners respect and support each other. Also consider if either you or your spouse has been unfaithful during your relationship. Although people tend to consider affairs a purely physical relationship, that is not always the case. If an affair becomes emotional, recovering from that can be extremely difficult. If you or your spouse has been involved in an affair, it might be time to consider divorcing.