Tips for Getting through a High Conflict Divorce

 Posted on September 25, 2015 in Divorce

Any divorce, even the most amicable, is a stressful, intense, emotional situation. While everybody certainly hopes that their divorce will happen peacefully, for some, that is not the case. If you are struggling with a high conflict divorce, you may feel like you are drowning in negative energy and stress. Struggling through a tough divorce with a difficult ex-partner can be life consuming, but there are ways to manage your stress and minimize your pain. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you are experiencing a high conflict divorce. Find Help Even the friendliest of divorce cases require the assistance of lawyers and possibly other experts including therapists or accountants. The first thing you can do for yourself, if you are entering a high conflict separation, is to surround yourself with a great team. First, find yourself a qualified attorney. Look for a lawyer that has helped other clients through similar experiences as yours. If you have children, seek out an attorney that has experience in child custody. Ask friends and family members for referrals. Finding a lawyer you can trust to advocate for you is key. A bad lawyer will not only drain you financially, but leave you with stress and uncertainty. Also consider finding a therapist. One of the biggest challenges of going through a tense situation like divorce is being unable to let your emotions out. Bottling and storing your emotions within can take a serious toll on both your mental and physical health. Look for a therapist who will allow you to vent, without letting you spiral into a deeper depression. When you leave your therapist's office, you should feel less stressed and consumed with negative energy. If you leave feeling worse, search for a new therapist.

Help also comes in the form of good friends. Get together with friends who remind you of the bigger picture of life, and not just the temporary situation you are in now. Call on positive friends that can rally around you and help you stay happy. Try your best to laugh, live your life, and enjoy the great company of your friends. Also, you may want to look for one or two close friends that can assist you in stressful times, like in the courtroom.

Be the Bigger Person It is all too easy for even the strongest of people to break down and turn to attacking their soon to be ex during a divorce. Try to avoid letting this unfortunate situation bring out your worst. Even if your ex is constantly attacking you, do what you can to be the bigger person. Choosing to attack your ex partner is only allowing further negative energy into your life. Keep your dignity, and you will be much better off. Find Your Escape In high stress situations like divorce, it can be difficult to focus on the big picture. Constantly remind yourself that this is simply a small chapter in the grand picture of your life. Tell yourself that this divorce will absolutely not define you. A divorce can make you question yourself, so remind yourself that you are much more than this small incident. Your divorce can not go on forever, so in the meantime, find some escapes for yourself. First, try making some long term plans. Arrange a vacation. Book concert tickets. Give yourself something tangible that you can look forward to once this process is over. Many people escape the stress of divorce through exercise. As stated earlier, carrying around major stress is tough on your body. Find an activity that you enjoy, and release your stress. You will feel the positive impact on your body and mind. If you are holding onto anger, perhaps consider boxing. Find someway to release your emotions in a positive, healthy way. This will help you avoid emotional breakdowns and the desire to lash out at your ex. Your escape can also be little things. Cuddle up on the couch with a good book or watch a TV show. Do small, simple things for yourself that help you take your mind off of your current stresses. Try to focus on even the smallest positive things in your life. Spend time with your children. Make a quality meal. Enjoy some time in nature. These small things can help relieve your tension and put your divorce into perspective. No matter what, a high conflict divorce is going to bring with it a spectrum of emotions. While some days will be better than others, the tips above can help you get through this tough phase in your life. Remind yourself that things will be better soon and do your best to stay positive.

As stated above, having the help of a qualified attorney you trust is essential. Speak with an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney today to find some relief. Contact the law office of Stock, Carlson, Flynn and McGrath, LLC at 630-665-2500 to speak to an attorney today.

Source:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bonnie-koehn/how-to-stay-sane-during-a_b_8164714.html