630-665-2500
128D S. County Farm Road, Wheaton, IL 60187
Recent Blog Posts
How to Take Care of Yourself During and After a Divorce
A lot goes on emotionally when two people decide to divorce. It is much like grieving a loss of a loved one, because essentially, you are losing someone who you thought would be in your life forever. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress can take a toll on the body. Therefore, it is important that while going through the process, you learn how to alleviate some of the stress that could cause common behavioral changes associated with a divorce.
The stress of divorce will manifest differently in men and women, but more often women tend exhibit outward changes such as crying, fatigue, depression, feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety about the future, mood swings, and sleeplessness. Men and women alike may turn to substance abuse as a means to cope. Coping is a key word, and many women have learned how to cope effectively with these techniques and others.
Should I Create My Will On My Own?
If you're looking to save money and have been persuaded by commercials and internet ads that a will you write yourself or using an online service is just as good as one written by a lawyer, don't be fooled by the advertising. Although purchasing an online service is a step up from writing the will on your own, it's a small step that could have serious ramifications if anything regarding your estate planning extends beyond the simplest form. A study from Consumer Reports involved individuals obtaining three different types of DIY documents from legal drafting services and found that unintended consequences are perhaps the biggest downfall of skipping the visit to your DuPage County estate planning attorney's office.
One of the biggest appeals of these online services is that they appear to steer you through questions or interviews that seem to be "personalizing" the will to your needs. If you are not familiar with legal terminology or the tax consequences of structuring something a particular way, however, you can end up doing a disservice to your beneficiaries or articulating estate planning wishes that you did not actually want. According to the experts who reviewed these planning services, making mistakes is all too simple to do. Some individuals who seek out these services might learn before it's too late that their will does not actually say what they think it says, leading them to an attorney's office anyway.
Experts have Mixed Opinions about Prenups
Prenuptial agreements have become more prevalent in the last 20 years. According to Psychology Today, some experts believe that these agreements predestine a new marriage for failure, while others believe that they have no bearing on the success of a marriage.
Vulnerability
A successful marriage should be based on an exceptional emotional bond, among other things. One argument for prenuptial agreements is that the full disclosure of financial intentions and assets allows the emotional bond to be strengthened. If the future spouse knows what up front what will happen in the case of a divorce, they are more likely to act appropriately.
The opposite argument states that the prenuptial agreement denotes mistrust from the beginning. While the agreement is not going to be the sole cause of the dissolution of the marriage, it may be a sign that there are going to be problems in the future. How can there be trust when one partner refuses to be totally vulnerable.
How to Take Care of Yourself During and After a Divorce
A lot goes on emotionally when two people decide to divorce. It is much like grieving a loss of a loved one because essentially you are losing your partner, someone who you may have thought would be in your life forever. According to the National Institute of Mental Health stress can take a toll on the body. Therefore, it is important that while going through the process that you learn how to alleviate some of the stress that could cause common behavioral changes associated with a divorce.
The stress of divorce will manifest differently in men and women, but more often women tend exhibit outward changes such as crying, fatigue, depression, feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety about the future, mood swings, and sleeplessness. Men and women alike may turn to substance abuse as a means to cope. Coping is the key word, and many women have learned how to cope effectively with the following techniques and others.
4 Mistakes to Avoid when Planning your Estate
You work your entire life to build up worth and prepare for planning your estate. There are four very important mistakes you should avoid making when preparing your will for your loved ones.
- Not turning to an expert for help. It's very common for people to create their own documents for estate planning by utilizing templates they have found online. However, even if you choose to do things on your own, it's always best to double-check with an expert to make sure there are not any silly mistakes.
- Forgetting to connect your business to your estate plan. Some parents who double as business owners don't necessarily want to talk with their children about what will happen with their business in the future and ultimately just leave it to the kids in their wills. This can often lead to issues with children who don't work for the business but still want to receive income from it, or those who have been working for the business and will continue to try to run it.
DIY Estate Planning: Dangerous Territory
Although a recent survey indicates that as many as 1/3 of Americans are using online estate planning tools or generic forms they have purchased, creating your own estate planning documents is tricky. Working with a lawyer is the only way to make sure that you have articulated your desires properly.
Not Doing Enough
One of the dangers in using a standard online approach to estate planning is that you simply won't create the kind of comprehensive plan you'll need if something happens to you. If you have any kind of unique aspect to your situation, like children with special needs, you're unlikely to find that the "one size fits all" approach to estate planning works for you. These online services tend to present the "bare bones" for your needs, which could mean missing out on critical documents or needs that you are not aware of until it's too late.
Doing Too Much
Divorce May Cause Post Traumatic Stress in Children
In an article written for Psychology Today, Stephen Joseph, Ph.D. states that parents shouldn't underestimate the effects that divorce has on children. Couples will often wait to divorce, thinking that it would be better for the children. But in a study conducted by Dr. Joseph, he found evidence that children of divorce may suffer from post traumatic stress.
Most people who marry don't expect to be divorced. Nevertheless, divorce does happen . When children are involved, waiting to divorce until they are grown may not be the best solution. The logic here is that the events that occur over the years that lead up to divorce are being witnessed and by the children. Therefore, the damage to your children that you may be trying to avoid has already been done having lived in an environment with two parents who don't love each other.
Naturally, as parents you want the best for your children. In some cases that may mean getting a divorce sooner rather than later. The effects of living with two fighting parents could directly affect a child's sense of security. Over a period of time this becomes harder and harder to deal with thus affecting how a child develops emotionally and psychologically. According to Dr. Joseph a child needs to know that he or she has a sense of belonging and safety. Therefore, a child being raised by two fighting parents waiting to get a divorce may be more damaging than that of parents who demonstrate that despite their separation the children are loved.
Go on Your Own Terms
When planning for the future, establishing a will is an important part of that. By setting a will in place, you can be sure to provide for your loved ones after you are gone in a way that you see fit. But, a will is not just for the distribution of your possessions after you are gone; it can also be used to outline your wishes for yourself. A "living will" may be put in place regarding your wishes for your own medical treatment at a time when you are unable to speak for yourself.
The living will was first proposed by an Illinois attorney, Luis Kutner, in a law journal in 1969. Kutner drew from existing estate law, by which an individual can control property affairs after death (i.e., when no longer available to speak for themselves) and devised a way for an individual to express his health care desires when he is no longer able to express current health care wishes. Because this form of "will" was to be used while an individual was still alive (but no longer able to make decisions) it was dubbed the "living will."
Importance of Prenuptial Agreements
Prenuptial agreements are usually thought of only as something that someone may need if they have a large amount of money and they are marrying someone who does not have much money. And even then, it's almost a slap in the face, saying, "I don't think this marriage will last and when it ends, I'm not going to let you take my money." People think of asking for a prenup as saying, we're going to break up, but let's get married anyway.
They are becoming more and more common nowadays, however, and they cover everything from bank account division to spousal support to real estate.
Marlene Eskind Moses, President of the American Academy of Matrimonal Lawyers, said, "It's not just something for the rich and famous any longer. It's for people that have assets and/or income that they want to protect."
According to a survey conducted by Harris Interactive, about 33 percent of single adults would ask for a prenup. Only about 3 percent of people with spouses or fiancés have them, although that is triple what it was only 10 years ago.
Skip the Counseling, Go for Divorce
Some couples mistakenly think that going to marriage counseling can save a marriage headed for divorce. It sometimes takes years of expensive sessions with a degree-laden but oft-inexperienced counselor before the couple finally realizes that there's nothing left to save. In fact, according to the Huffington Post, marriage counseling can actually be detrimental to a marriage rather than save it. In many cases, it's easier emotionally and especially financially to just forge ahead and go for a divorce instead. Getting a fresh start outside of an unhealthy relationship can be healthier and lead to greater happiness than trying to force something that was never meant to be in the first place. According to the Huffington Post, there are several reasons why marriage counseling is a sham.
The first is that to initiate marriage counseling (especially if the initiator is a woman) is to basically call your spouse a loser. "Since a key ingredient for intimacy is emotional safety," reports the Huffington Post, "this approach puts the connection she craves further out of reach." This is because men often perceive the suggestion of marriage counseling as a criticism, which, of course, further drives the couple apart. The second reason the Huffington Post gives for avoiding marriage counseling is that many marriage counselors don't have ideal relationships themselves. "If your marriage counselor doesn't have the kind of relationship you want," reports the Huffington Post, "she simply can't tell you how to get it."
Contact Our Firm
The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.
I have read and understand the Disclaimer and Privacy Policy.
